Refocusing Your Purpose

Definition of Purpose: “the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists.”

What is your purpose?

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The meme posted up top is the typical response when I ask someone what their individual purpose is in life. I see the shoulders shrug and the look of confusion, disappointment, and defeat. A simple question that has more meaning than life itself. Discovering your purpose is one of the hardest things to do in life. Once your purpose is discovered you have to work on being intentional and living in your purpose.

Society is now filled with many distractions like Instagram, Facebook, #relationshipgoals, hot girl summers, and having it ALL. All includes the flashy cars, jewelry, outfits, show of money, and a perfect image. If you were to truly keep on with the distractions of the world you would stop living in your purpose and merely existing in this world. 

If you are focusing on your next Instagram post, how likely would you be to study, read, build relationships, advance in your career, craft your gifts, and develop your own creative path. Becoming unfocused is not an uncommon concept. No one on social media is truly screaming, “You DO NOT NEED HALF THIS CRAP”, instead you get the constant reminders of what you do not have. Possessing things do not bring you happiness nor will it silence your inner voice that keeps telling you to do something different and challenge yourself.

 

Happiness is a goal I think many strive to achieve but most try in ways that do not include their purpose. She/He get the high paying job, city skyline view, and foreign car but still struggle with happiness. Happiness is not an item that you buy at your local Target. In order to truly be happy, you will need to silence the distractions long enough to figure out what you truly value. Having value and being invested creates a passion that money cannot buy. When you are doing something you truly love and feel like you have a calling to it brings a different type of energy. You think different, talk different, plan differently, and most of all you feel different. 

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How do I know that I have lost my focus?

Weekly if not daily check-ins will help you assess what you have done recently to further your purpose. I use meditation, reading, and timeouts to recalibrate my life and focus on my path. There is nothing wrong with turning off your phone, staying at home, and spending time with yourself. Only when you remove all of the distractions in your life will you truly be able to see what you have really been passionate about and the actions you have or haven’t taken.

Questions to ask yourself":

What have I spent most of my free time doing today?

Have I strengthened something valuable to myself today?

Where have I spent my monies?

Did I do anything purposeful today?

For more about living a purposeful life please visit our IG TV @trinityrisingcounseling

Written By:

Tammarra. Letbetter M.Ed, LPC

Choose YOU!

Sometimes we struggle with choosing ourselves, with making ourselves a priority. We spend time making sure that our friends and families are okay, but don’t leave enough of that energy for ourselves. Meanwhile, everyone is doing fantastic, and you’re home dealing with your own stress, depleted of energy and any motivation.

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Whether its out of obligation, fear of not being liked, or just simply conditioned to being that “go to” or “strong” person we continue to allow ourselves to fall further and further on our to do list. We make excuses and justify our continued mistreatment of ourselves, and then you look up and find yourself irritable, angry, resentful, or just plain ole’ tired!

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So…I know you’re wondering…How do I fix it? Well, simply put you just have too….

CHOOSE YOU!

So what does that look like exactly? Well it requires you to make yourself a priority, and remember to take care of yourself before you take care of those around you. We’ve all heard the announcement on the airplane when we travel. In case of an emergency, face masks will drop down, and you must put your mask on first before you go and help others. Apply that to your life. If you don’t have your mask on, you are going to run out of air, and won’t be able to help those around you! So here are some things you can do. Grab your pen and pad!

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  • Set boundaries

  • Say No (Its not a bad word)

  • Focus on YOUR goals (you have dreams too)

  • Remove toxic relationships and people (you deserve better)

  • Trust your instincts (You know yourself better than you think!)

  • Speak Kindly to yourself, speaking loving to yourself, and think positively about yourself (you show people how to treat you!)

  • Engage in frequent self-care (you have to refill your cup)

So, now that you have some tips, go forth, be great, and CHOOSE YOU! It is okay to be selfish and deciding to take time for yourself, to focus on your well being, and to put yourself first.

Anxiety Woes

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Anxiety is defined as a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome. When anxiety becomes severe or problematic is when it begins to impede and interfere with your daily functioning. 

The thing about anxiety is…it looks different for everyone. It can present itself in the form of always needing control, crying and difficulty managing your emotions, constantly feeling agitated and angry, and it can even show up as physical symptoms from stomachaches, headaches, sweaty palms, or increased heart rate.

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Anxiety can also come with unwanted thoughts, emotional distress, and an unsettled mind. And lets face it we are coming into the holiday seasons, where you are expected to be joyful, thankful, and around family, whether your family is functional or dysfunctional like most, there tend to come some anxious thoughts that are associated with preparing for this time of year. So, what can you do about that? Let me tell you…

Question your thoughts & evaluate your thinking and feelings. Ask yourself is this true? Has this happened? Review the possible outcomes of the events that’s causing the anxiety and identify ways to cope to those outcomes. Typically this allows you to recognize a number of outcomes and usually find that things are not as bad as our anxious mind makes them. 

You can also engage in deep breathing? How you say? Sit in a comfortable position, close your eyes, inhale for 5 seconds, hold for 6 seconds, and exhale for 7 seconds, and do this repeatedly, until you feel calm.

Another technique that we use often with our clients is what we call grounding. If you find yourself experiencing a heightened level of anxiety you can stop what you are doing, and do the grounding technique called 5-4-3-2-1. In that moment you look around you and find 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. And repeated this technique as necessary until you feel calm. 

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Whether you suffer from anxiety or know someone who does, just remember to be kind to your self and be kind to others. The seasons are approaching and there are so many of us who experience anxiety, depression, sadness, and all out frustration. But know that by utilizing the techniques above, building that support system, or reaching out to a therapist, you will get through these rough times. 

And if you need to reach out please feel free to contact TRCC, we are here to help. 

Happy coping!