The Wellness Word
Refocusing Your Purpose
Definition of Purpose: “the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists.”
What is your purpose?
The meme posted up top is the typical response when I ask someone what their individual purpose is in life. I see the shoulders shrug and the look of confusion, disappointment, and defeat. A simple question that has more meaning than life itself. Discovering your purpose is one of the hardest things to do in life. Once your purpose is discovered you have to work on being intentional and living in your purpose.
Society is now filled with many distractions like Instagram, Facebook, #relationshipgoals, hot girl summers, and having it ALL. All includes the flashy cars, jewelry, outfits, show of money, and a perfect image. If you were to truly keep on with the distractions of the world you would stop living in your purpose and merely existing in this world.
If you are focusing on your next Instagram post, how likely would you be to study, read, build relationships, advance in your career, craft your gifts, and develop your own creative path. Becoming unfocused is not an uncommon concept. No one on social media is truly screaming, “You DO NOT NEED HALF THIS CRAP”, instead you get the constant reminders of what you do not have. Possessing things do not bring you happiness nor will it silence your inner voice that keeps telling you to do something different and challenge yourself.
Happiness is a goal I think many strive to achieve but most try in ways that do not include their purpose. She/He get the high paying job, city skyline view, and foreign car but still struggle with happiness. Happiness is not an item that you buy at your local Target. In order to truly be happy, you will need to silence the distractions long enough to figure out what you truly value. Having value and being invested creates a passion that money cannot buy. When you are doing something you truly love and feel like you have a calling to it brings a different type of energy. You think different, talk different, plan differently, and most of all you feel different.
How do I know that I have lost my focus?
Weekly if not daily check-ins will help you assess what you have done recently to further your purpose. I use meditation, reading, and timeouts to recalibrate my life and focus on my path. There is nothing wrong with turning off your phone, staying at home, and spending time with yourself. Only when you remove all of the distractions in your life will you truly be able to see what you have really been passionate about and the actions you have or haven’t taken.
Questions to ask yourself":
What have I spent most of my free time doing today?
Have I strengthened something valuable to myself today?
Where have I spent my monies?
Did I do anything purposeful today?
For more about living a purposeful life please visit our IG TV @trinityrisingcounseling
Written By:
Tammarra. Letbetter M.Ed, LPC
Choose YOU!
Sometimes we struggle with choosing ourselves, with making ourselves a priority. We spend time making sure that our friends and families are okay, but don’t leave enough of that energy for ourselves. Meanwhile, everyone is doing fantastic, and you’re home dealing with your own stress, depleted of energy and any motivation.
Whether its out of obligation, fear of not being liked, or just simply conditioned to being that “go to” or “strong” person we continue to allow ourselves to fall further and further on our to do list. We make excuses and justify our continued mistreatment of ourselves, and then you look up and find yourself irritable, angry, resentful, or just plain ole’ tired!
So…I know you’re wondering…How do I fix it? Well, simply put you just have too….
CHOOSE YOU!
So what does that look like exactly? Well it requires you to make yourself a priority, and remember to take care of yourself before you take care of those around you. We’ve all heard the announcement on the airplane when we travel. In case of an emergency, face masks will drop down, and you must put your mask on first before you go and help others. Apply that to your life. If you don’t have your mask on, you are going to run out of air, and won’t be able to help those around you! So here are some things you can do. Grab your pen and pad!
Set boundaries
Say No (Its not a bad word)
Focus on YOUR goals (you have dreams too)
Remove toxic relationships and people (you deserve better)
Trust your instincts (You know yourself better than you think!)
Speak Kindly to yourself, speaking loving to yourself, and think positively about yourself (you show people how to treat you!)
Engage in frequent self-care (you have to refill your cup)
So, now that you have some tips, go forth, be great, and CHOOSE YOU! It is okay to be selfish and deciding to take time for yourself, to focus on your well being, and to put yourself first.
CRAP! No Coins + The Holidays
The Holiday’s brings a lot of pressure to buy gifts, throw parties, host guest, and many other financial responsibilities. Everyone’s coins does not always support what your heart wants to give this Holiday season. Let me be the first one to tell you, “It is OK!” There are many ways that you can express your love for family, friends, and your significant other without going broke.
Tips:
#1: Create a financial plan that is projected three months out past the Holiday’s.
This will ensure that you not only financially survive the Holiday’s but the following months to come.
#2: Pick a limited number of friends, family members, and one significant other to buy gifts for.
This will help you budget for the Holiday’s because you will already know who you are purchasing for.
#3: Have the selected people you’re buying gifts for create a wish list that includes affordable items under your desired spending budget that you created in tip #1.
This will help you to select one item for each person. Then select the gifts that meets your budget. If the items go over your budget please limit the list further or suggest gifts that are in your price range.
#4: Express to people that YOU ARE NOT SANTA CLAUS and your bills will be due in December, January, and every other month after that.
It is ok to inform others that your coins are not unlimited but you want to do your best to buy gifts but that doesn’t mean it will happen. It will be tempting to go ahead and buy everyone gifts and wait on your tax refund check but this is a mental and financial trap. Please remember that life always throws curve balls and your car is more than likely waiting on your refund check as well so it will all of a sudden start running hot. I have seen many people that spend money they do not have which lands them in a financial hole. This is your opportunity to change your spending habits and form new healthy spending habits.
Financial stress can lead to anxiety, depression, panic attacks, and many other harmful mental health issues. This year I want you to reclaim your financial freedom and prevent putting yourself in debt. Please do not let shame, guilt, or pride prevent you from living within your means. If the individual you want to buy gift for is not understanding of your financial position then it may be helpful to reevaluate that relationship. No friend, family member, or significant other should want you to create debt just so they can get an extravagant gift. There will be many more Holiday’s for you to ball out and buy everyone everything but that doesn’t have to happen every year.
For Holiday Gift Ideas and Decorating Ideas on a budget please visit these links:
https://www.countryliving.com/shopping/gifts/g2127/cheap-christmas-gifts/
https://www.pinterest.com/gcgirlfriend/christmas-gift-ideas/
https://www.moneyunder30.com/cheap-gifts-55-inexpensive-christmas-gifts
https://www.thriftyfrugalmom.com/20-cheap-easy-homemade-gift-ideas/
http://www.midwestliving.com/holidays/thanksgiving/easy-ideas-for-thanksgiving-decorating/?page=3
https://www.lizmarieblog.com/2014/12/how-to-frugally-quickly-decorate-for-christmas/
https://www.rd.com/home/decorating/cheap-christmas-decorations/
Anxiety Woes
Anxiety is defined as a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome. When anxiety becomes severe or problematic is when it begins to impede and interfere with your daily functioning.
The thing about anxiety is…it looks different for everyone. It can present itself in the form of always needing control, crying and difficulty managing your emotions, constantly feeling agitated and angry, and it can even show up as physical symptoms from stomachaches, headaches, sweaty palms, or increased heart rate.
Anxiety can also come with unwanted thoughts, emotional distress, and an unsettled mind. And lets face it we are coming into the holiday seasons, where you are expected to be joyful, thankful, and around family, whether your family is functional or dysfunctional like most, there tend to come some anxious thoughts that are associated with preparing for this time of year. So, what can you do about that? Let me tell you…
Question your thoughts & evaluate your thinking and feelings. Ask yourself is this true? Has this happened? Review the possible outcomes of the events that’s causing the anxiety and identify ways to cope to those outcomes. Typically this allows you to recognize a number of outcomes and usually find that things are not as bad as our anxious mind makes them.
You can also engage in deep breathing? How you say? Sit in a comfortable position, close your eyes, inhale for 5 seconds, hold for 6 seconds, and exhale for 7 seconds, and do this repeatedly, until you feel calm.
Another technique that we use often with our clients is what we call grounding. If you find yourself experiencing a heightened level of anxiety you can stop what you are doing, and do the grounding technique called 5-4-3-2-1. In that moment you look around you and find 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste. And repeated this technique as necessary until you feel calm.
Whether you suffer from anxiety or know someone who does, just remember to be kind to your self and be kind to others. The seasons are approaching and there are so many of us who experience anxiety, depression, sadness, and all out frustration. But know that by utilizing the techniques above, building that support system, or reaching out to a therapist, you will get through these rough times.
And if you need to reach out please feel free to contact TRCC, we are here to help.
Happy coping!